Thursday, March 30, 2017

How to Work with Difficult People: 10 Steps

By Richard Kent Matthews - Coach | Author | Speaker

Difficult People and 10 Steps to Working Well with Them

Powerful relationships are the key to your success on every level. 

Certain people in your life can be quite challenging. Consciously or unconsciously, they seek to make your life miserable. It’s time for that to change. I'll show you how to work with, through, and around all those pesky persons who may be standing in the way of your personal, professional, even spiritual success:

It all begins with self-knowledge. What do you bring to the mix? You can change the mood of the moment by knowing yourself and your habits.

Is it possible to avoid all judgment? Maybe not. There's a major difference between judgmentalism and discernment. One hinders, the other helps.

Accept the situation? It isn’t as easy—but it’s essential. Acceptance is different from giving in. It's important to recognize when each is rearing its head.

Choosing to see the good in the situation can seem naïve; yet, it sets the tone for a smooth solution. You want to find the good in each situation without being emotionally overwhelmed.

You can speak with both authority and sensitivity. It’s not about being stepped on, or stepping on. Still, a stand often has to be taken.

Are you willing to change how you currently respond to criticism? It can make or break the negotiation, personally or professionally. Taking it personally is a poor habit. Are you aware how your habits control you? Only then can you change them.

You MUST master your anger. 

Kindness, forgiveness, gratitude. They’re not just platitudes. They are health-giving choices that can make all the difference in your relationships. Choosing them WISELY is the key. And get this: They are more for your benefit than for the other. Interesting, eh?

At times it might be necessary to simply walk away. When it’s family or close friends, colleagues or business associates, it can be a difficult choice. With a bit of practice, and controlling your anger, you will discover how to know when this choice is the right one.

Is revenge ever really sweet? It may seem so on the surface. But there is a kickback factor that is essential for you to understand and to prepare for. Nothing happens in a vacuum, including revenge. It's best to keep such reactions in check.

This short article is designed to help you make better choices in dealing with your fellow humans. It’s tough but necessary. 

You’re not in this alone. Now, you can make your relationships the best they can be. You might change the behavior of others (doubtful) but you will change your own behavior. 

Usually, that’s enough to turn the tide.

For more interesting ideas, check out this article in Psychology Today: Ten Keys...

Comments welcome.

Monday, March 27, 2017

The Power of Goals - Paraphrasing Brian Tracy (Pt 2)

By Richard Kent Matthews - Coach | Author | Speaker

Click here...From Part 1: 
Is goal setting really that important, or powerful? Let's see...

Brian Tracy, author of such books as 21 Success Secrets of Self Made Millionaires and No Excuses!, says in his book, Goals!, that setting goals is one of the most powerful ways to create a successful life, professionally as well as personally. I've followed his advice and I can speak from experience:

Goal setting works.

Part 2

You've read the first 10 points of Brian Tracy's program in Part 1. Here are the remaining 11:

  • Improve your personal relationships. You may be independent, sturdy, hearty and whole, but you're not in this game alone. You need people.
  • Optimize your health and wellness. What good is it all if you're not in good health, physically, mentally, or spiritually? Eat well, sleep well, exercise and increase your connection with whatever spirituality you embrace.
  • Measure your progress. Set benchmarks. If you don't know where you're headed, you're liable to end up someplace else. 
  • Remove the roadblocks. Problem solving is a learnable skill. Spot the stumbles, go around, fix. Nothing unfolds flawlessly. Be prepared for surprises. Committed practice is a major benefit!
  • Associate with the 'right' people. I put 'right' in marks because it doesn't mean to be arrogant or elitist. It means to pick the crowd that can benefit you on your road to success. Avoid naysayers and whiners and people who tell you it can't be done. You're doing it, so don't listen to the crappola!*
  • Make a plan of action. I know... The saying, 'If you want to make God laugh, show Him your plans' comes up every time I talk of making them. But they're still essential. Without a roadmap, a plan, the journey is much more difficult to travel. You may have to change them along the way, but that's ok. 
  • Manage your time well. 'I just don't have the time to be successful' is what you're actually saying every time you use 'no time' as an excuse. 
  • Review your goals daily. As you move through your life, making changes in your plans, meeting new people and new challenges, some of your goals may need readjustment. That's part of the commitment. Adjust as needed.
  • Visualize your goals continually. You won't know the power of visualization practice until you actually make it part of your routine. Hold the picture of your outcome in mind, give it color and action. Keep it in front of you all the time. Magic can happen.
  • Activate your Superconscious Mind. Tracy and most of the success authors are really gung ho about the superconscious mind. You may not think it's an important ingredient in all this, but you DO have an unconscious portion of your mind that not only holds all your habits in place, but also has the power to change them. You activate this part of your mind by choosing to do so. (There are lots of books and CDs on the subject. Google the term 'Superconscious Mind' and determine for yourself what you will do with the information.
  • Persist until you succeed. A word of caution here: Sometimes, as you go along, you may decide that what you thought you wanted, you really don't. It's ok to change your mind. But when you make a commitment to something, and do the required work, don't get sidelined by fear or people who don't want you to succeed (and there are plenty, since they may have a vested interest in keeping you where you are right now). If you really want it, do whatever it takes to achieve it. That is, as long as it's legal and ethical, of course!
There you have it. Brian Tracy's goal setting strategies and my comments. You don't have to follow them exactly; use them as guidelines. But set goals. They'll change you. And your direction. For the better.

Much success to you, no matter your goals!

*Crappola: All the little and not so little pieces of garbage people throw at you, and what you throw at yourself, on a continuing basis. 

Thursday, March 23, 2017

The Power of Goals - Paraphrasing Brian Tracy (Pt 1)

By Richard Kent Matthews - Coach | Author | Speaker

So, where are you headed?

Is goal setting really that important, or powerful? Let's see...

Brian Tracy, author of such books as 21 Success Secrets of Self Made Millionaires and No Excuses!, says in his book, Goals!, that setting goals is one of the most powerful ways to create a successful life, professionally as well as personally. I've followed his advice and I can speak from experience:

Goal setting works.

In this and the following post, I review Mr. Tracy's goal setting program and hope it will give you incentive to create your own. You've nothing to lose and all to gain!

  • Get started; unlock your potential. Nothing happens until something moves, says Einstein. Begin to formulate your goal plan now. 
  • Take charge of your life. Step out of the shadow of others. Be the major player in your own affairs.
  • Clarify your values. Let them be your guide and light.
  • Analyze your beliefs. Some of them may be holding you back. Be honest and face them.
  • Create your own future. Write down your dreams and imaginings. Get clear.
  • Determine your true goals. What you want is more than just material abundance. Get to the roots.
  • Decide upon your Major Definite Purpose. What is it that really drives you, moves you, creates tingles within you?
  • Start at the beginning. Be honest about where your head is right now, in this moment. Go from there.
  • Set and achieve your financial goals. Get clear on how you want to reach your financial pinnacle. 
  • Become an expert in your field. Read, listen to success CDs*, go to seminars, get all the info you can about what you want to be best at and commit to practice.
More next time!

Monday, March 20, 2017

Are You an Individual, or Just Another Brick in the Wall?

If you 'fit in,' you may be out!

It's true companies like you to 'play the game,' become 'one of the boys/girls,' or be a team player. Nothing wrong with all that. It keeps the wheels of commerce running smoothly.


Before you land that prize position, it's important that you portray yourself as an individual, set apart from the madding crowd. 

This article from Carsten Sudhoff, Contributor to the will give you insights about maintaining a robust individuality while also demonstrating how you can be part of the greater team.

Click here: Looking for a New Job? Individuality is the Key

"Our fast-paced society seems to leave little room for individuality. A successful job hunt, however, requires exactly that – a clear formulation of your unique experience, achievements and personality into your “Unique Selling Proposition (USP)”.

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Taking Credit Where None is Due: Jobs Report for February

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US Jobs Reports Lies and Fake News ...Until Trump Takes Office?

Recently, Pres. Trump's press secretary Sean Spicer let it be known that all previous job addition reports were fake, that is, until February 2017. Now that his boss is in office, the stats are real. Or so he says.

At the risk of sounding biased, that kind of statement seems just a tad biased. 

Trump is actually taking credit for the numbers. Wrong. These numbers arose out of conditions established long before he entered the White House.

Keep your eyes and ears open, people. 

In the mean time, job additions totaled more than 235,000 in the month of February. You're in a good place at a good time to find the job you want.


Monday, March 13, 2017

Job Interviews Going the Way of the Dinosaur?

By Richard Kent Matthews - Coach | Author | Speaker

Image result for frightened free clip art

OMG! Out with the job interview, in with the job audition

If this is true, I may soon have to close my doors!!

According to Marcel Schwantes, writing for, the job interview is not a good tool with which to obtain new employees. He says nearly 81% of applicants lie profusely on resumes, CVs, and during the interview.

If you're going out into the job market, this is something you probably need to be aware of. Get your truth together. Lies may be the last great job search dinosaur.

Click here: The Job Interview Will Soon Be Dead. Here's What the Top Companies Are Replacing It With

Comments welcome.

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Hold It! It's OK to Quit Now and Then

By Richard Kent Matthews - Coach | Author | Speaker

Image result for happy face free clip art
Take it easy. It's all good!

"Whatever your endeavor, ask these two questions: Is it working? Do I still enjoy it?" 

"'Never give up' is bad advice. Real winners won't hesitate to walk away from an unsuccessful venture. Master the art [and science] of moving on by learning when to quit and when to keep going."

Chris Guillebeau, "Born For This", (2016 Crown Business - Publishing)

Wise words. 

Sometimes we get the idea that if we don't keep going in the same old direction, we'll be considered a failure and a quitter.

Quit? Me? 

Weigh everything in the balance. If it's not measuring up to your own numbers, stats, or even desires, skip it, move on, change course, get a new project.

That goes for job search, career direction, even your volunteer efforts.

It's OK to quit now and then. And better to do so before exasperation or depression set in.

An unhappy camper sets bad fires.

Monday, March 6, 2017

Get It! A Simple Manifestation Secret You Can Use, Starting NOW

By Richard Kent Matthews - Coach | Author | Speaker

If you want it, you can have it. But you must want it. 

"It's impossible," you say. "I've tried and tried but I just can't find the right job." 

As long as you keep saying that, you're right. Stop saying that. 

Shad Helmstetter, in his famous book What to Say When You Talk to Yourself, summarized the importance of changing our self talk. We literally speak our innermost truth into reality, so holding onto the negative chatter is a surefire way to keep yourself on the very path you say you disdain. 

Here's a simple formula to help you change your talk, your direction, your mindset. Use it as you will. It's powerful, if you maintain it.

  • First, get clear on what you want, what it is you really desire. (Job? Lover? Condo?)
  • Second, develop a plan of action and put it in writing. Make it a positive plan, no negatives allowed. (Present tense, please.)
  • Third, begin to daily visualize your plan coming into form. See it in detail. Speak it, sing it, laugh it, do whatever it takes to get it into your daily practice. (Highly recommended: Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain.)
  • Fourth, focus on the plan. Choose a small portion of your visualized picture and focus upon it as often as possible. Be clear, be determined. Focus. (Focus can be difficult so that's why you need just a small Snap Chat-like pic of your desire on which to fixate.)
  • Fifth, begin to take small steps in the direction of your visualized and focused goal. Small steps. Don't overwhelm yourself. (Practice Kaizen.)
  • Sixth, commit to the process. Do not waver. Doubts will enter. Kick them downstairs! (Doubts serve a purpose, but in this case, shoo them back to their corner.)

Thursday, March 2, 2017

What to Do Before, During, and After Your Interview

By Richard Kent Matthews - Coach | Author | Speaker

Did you know...

Most people go into a job interview without really knowing what's what. For instance...

Have you created targeted resumes for each industry and category in which you intend to interview?

General resumes shout amateur to interviewers.

Have you researched the company and the position thoroughly before arriving at the door?

Too many applicants have no real idea what the company produces, sells, or creates. 

Have you considered your level of technology know-how before applying to a hi tech company?

HR personnel and recruiters are no longer surprised at the number of unqualified people who show up at hi tech interviews.

Have you kept up on your computer skills and online savvy?